• dark
• angst

About this post: This is one of my oldest stories that I've been able to find back on my FF.net account.
Sadly, my stories from before 2007 were only posted on sites of my own, sites which no longer exist.
This particular story, 'Dreams', was posted by me on 6/11/2007, on FF.net, where it can still be found.
While I'm working on new material, time to write is stretched thin right now, so I'm posting older stories first. 

Disclaimer: Star Trek Voyager, it's characters and such are not mine.
Copyright to all that stuff belongs to Paramount.
But Paramount sucks, and I just borrowed some of their stuff.
For some harmless fun called "fan fiction".
That's right, fiction produced by a fan.
No copyright infringement intended and stuff.
So leave me the heck alone, Paramount, or I WILL "infringe" your "copyright".
And then you'll be able to take a leak and sneeze, through the same openings.

Additional notes: This story may contain adult-only content.
Including violence, bad language, sex, and other stuff.
It definitely contains same-sex romance between two women.
If any of that offends you, then you're a goddamn scared little homophobe wuss.
I don't want any scared little homophobe wuss reading my stuff.
So, get the heck outta here you scared little homophobe wuss.
If it doesn't offend you, but it's illegal for you to view such material, well...
Then I'll have to ask you to leave or move to a country where you can view it.
Now, on with the story...

Dreams

B'Elanna's dream.

"Personal log, supplemental. I have once again woken up, bathing in sweat and screaming out her name. For the past thirteen nights I have been having the same dream about her, with the same result."
B'Elanna stood up from her bed, sighed, and continued to record her log.

The dream begins with me working in Engineering.
Vorik and Carey are assisting me with some repair.
I'm not sure what we're repairing.
Then she comes walking in... Seven of Nine...
She's wearing the Captain's uniform.
I look up at her and snarl.
She scowls at me, then Tuvok leads in a security team.
She tells them to escort me to Cargo bay Two.
Vorik says something to her, I can't hear what... there is no sound.
She signals Tuvok to stop, then she leaps at Vorik.
Vorik never stands any chance... as soon as she is upon him, he is lost.
Assimilated... screaming, but there is still no sound.
Then she leaves him to his fate, and takes the lead.
With Tuvok and his team, she parades me all over Voyager.

I am a prisoner... everyone is yelling insults at me and laughing.
Normally, this is where I wake up, sweating and screaming.
But this time, thanks to some help, I remained asleep.
The dream went on.
The parade went on.
After some time we once more reach Engineering, but it's different.
It's full of Borg technology and Borg alcoves.
There are Borg everywhere in Engineering.
When Seven parades me through Engineering, they watch me.
They're all assimilated Klingons.
One of them is, or was, my mother.
She gives me a look of pity, of sorrow... then she smiles.
And the parade moves on, leaving Engineering.

Once more through the entire ship, until we reach Cargo bay Two.
Seven's alcove stands in the center, like an altar.
Covered in strange plants and flowers, but I can still see it.
It powers up... Seven steps out of the plants and flowers.
She moves next to me and takes my hand.
She then takes the vow.
This time, there is sound... Seven's words are flawless... "jIH dok"
I feel my hearts beating in my sleeping throat.
"maj dok", I say, then we turn to the other Seven, both speaking...
"Tlinghan jIH", we say and the one in the Captain's uniform nods.

Seven's dream.

"Personal log, supplemental. Once again I have been unable to regenerate for a full cycle. The reason is that during the last nineteen attempts over the last thirteen days, I have been experiencing what the Captain and the Doctor are convinced to be nightmares."Seven picks up a datapadd, enters something, then places it back on the cargo container that she uses for a make-shift table.
"Every time, it is the same 'nightmare', though usually my regeneration cycle is broken off in the early stages. This time, with the Doctor's help, I have been able to complete the 'nightmare', which I found to be a most disturbing event."
Seven pauses and looks at her alcove, then returns to her log.

This 'nightmare' begins with me regenerating in this cargo bay.
Lieutenant Torres enters the cargo bay and positions herself before me.
She enters some command into the alcove's interface, ending my cycle.
I try to exit the alcove, but she pushes me back with a snarl.
I try to call for help, but I can't hear my own voice.
The Lieutenant laughs, then she speaks in a sarcastic tone.
"Need help? Need your precious Captain?", she sneers at me.
She gestures to the door, "Computer, summon the Captain".
Right away the door opens, and Captain Janeway enters.
She is not alone.
As she walks, I see three long Borg tubules coming from her neck.
They fall to the ground and lead to the door.
In the door opening, stands the Borg Queen.
The tubules run between her wrist and Captain Janeway's neck.
The Captain gets on her knees, looks up at me and smiles.
Usually this is roughly where my cycle interrupts.
Now, it went on.

The Borg Queen laughs, then speaks.
"Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero, you will yield to me"
The Lieutenant again snarls at me and prepares to hit me.
But then she lowers her hand, turns to the Borg Queen and attacks.
Suddenly she wields a Bathleth.
On her way to the Borg Queen she severs the tubules.
Captain Janeway gives me one last smile, then bleeds to death.
The Lieutenant and the Borg Queen engage in battle.
Lieutenant Torres severs all of the Borg Queen's limbs and turns to me.
She raises her Bathleth in victory and comes to me, embracing me.
She kisses me passionately... we exchange vows... I offer her my cheek.
She bites me, then offers me her cheek.
I bite... then she looks into my eyes in a way I have seen before.
It resembles the look I got from the Captain.
Shortly after I was severed from the Collective.
She smiles and lifts me off my feet.
She carries me back to my alcove, which is now surrounded by flowers.
She places me in my alcove and enters some more commands.
She still smiles when a forcefield is raised around my alcove.
From the corner of my eye I see something move, but it is too fast.
Then I see the Lieutenant's eyes, their fire fades away.

I see how a multitude of tubules tears into the Lieutenant.
All of them come from the body of the Borg Queen.
Even in death she sneers at me, "You will yield to me!"
The tubules and nanoprobes begin to consume the Lieutenant.
Another tubule moves to de-activate my alcove and the shield.
The Lieutenant smiles at me still, and raises her Bathleth once more.
She hurls it at the Borg Queen.
As her smile finally freezes in death, her Bathleth hits it's target.

The Borg Queen is no more, the Captain is no more.
All that is, is Cargo bay Two, with me and the Lieutanant's body.
She is still warm, but her warmth fades while I cradle her in my arms.
I howl the Klingon Deathcry, then rip out my own heart to be with her.

Captain's Log.

"Captain's log, supplemental. I have just ordered Voyager to a full stop."
Kathryn slams back another glass of whiskey, then swallows hard and continues.
"I have conveined a staff meeting to take place in fifteen minutes. I know they won't like what I have to say, but I can't carry on any more."
Kathryn looks at a Holo-frame standing on her desk, it depicts a wedding.
She wipes away some tears, then returns to her log.

About a month ago, B'Elanna and Seven visited the Doctor, independantly.
They both had trouble sleeping. Nightmares. The Doctor helped them sleep.
After they finally went through their nightmares, they both came to me.
They both confided in me their nightmares.
I was somewhat stunned, but it came as no surprise how they matched.
Ever since it became clear that Seven and I could not be, I hoped this.
I hoped B'Elanna would warm up to her.
These two, so opposite, yet so alike... they would be perfect together.
And they were.

Things between B'Elanna and Tom had already hit rock bottom.
Lieutenant Paris, because of his unfaithfulness, had caused trouble.
During a staff meeting, he tried to hit on Seven – again.
He had been unsuccessful – again.
The divorce had been instant, Klingon-style.
So had the punishment for his infidelity.
B'Elanna didn't even wait for the meeting to end, she just went at him.
Tom owes his life to Tuvok, and to Seven.
Tuvok for dragging him out of the meeting and to Sickbay.
Seven for soothing B'elanna afterwards.

Being the Captain, I saw that as the perfect moment.
I enforced the divorce, formally, and maried the two women.
It was a short, spontaneous ceremony. Klingon-style.
They exchanged vows, bit eachother's cheek...
Of course, I needed to disciplin B'Elanna for attacking Tom.
I would have killed him myself, I SHOULD have killed him myself.
Back when he tried to dominate me... but I didn't.
So it was my fault that he ended up bedding B'Elanna.

I ordered an away mission, sending B'Elanna on a mining mission.
We were heading for an M-class planet with plenty of dilithium ore.
It was also a tropical paradise, with huge trees and large flowers.
So I figured these two could make it their honeymoon.
I was wrong. Dead wrong. I should have let Seven scan the planet.
She said she wanted to run more scans, I refused.
I told her to relax... to take it easy... to just enjoy her honeymoon...
As soon as we fitted the Delta Flyer with a portable alcove, they left.
As soon as they landed, the trap shut...
We tried to save them. Voyager was nearly destroyed.

I still curse Tuvok and Chakotay for relieving me from command back then.
I still curse myself for letting Seven and B'Elanna fall into that trap.
Had Seven scanned, she would have picked up the three Borg spheres.
I would have left that away mission for much later.
Now, they are dead.

The Delta Flyer managed to return on auto-pilot.
Seven was hooked up to the regeneration alcove, behind a shield...
It had been too late... she was already too far gone for the alcove.
Her nanoprobes had already lost the battle.

B'Elanna lay at her feet, her back and neck broken – no, shattered...
I united them, only to send them to their deaths.
Their love only flared for a few days, and I'm to blame.
I can't go on, I'm not fit to be Voyager's captain.

Kathryn slammed back one more whiskey, threw the glass into the wall, and started to walk for the door, ready to resign her command permanently.
As she walked, she glanced at a shard of glass... and took it with her.

Epilogue.

"Captain's log, supplemental. Commander Tuvok makes a good First Officer. He would make a fine Captain. I will never understand why Kathryn chose me, a former Maquis, to replace her. I will never understand why none of us could move when she slit her own throat with that piece of glass."
Chakotay swallowed hard and looked out the viewport of the Ready room, watching the stars shift by at warpspeed.
"Had any of us been able to even say a word, she'd still be alive now. But most of all, I'm to blame. I should have seen the signs when she took me apart, before that staff meeting. I should have known that Kathryn could only be Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation starship Voyager. I should have known what she meant when she spoke of resigning."

On an empty bridge, Tuvok was recording his own log."Personal log, supplemental. Kathryn has been dead now for exactly one year. I have just carried out her last wish, which she confided in me when she took me apart minutes before the last staffmeeting which she conveined. When we return to the Alpha Quadrant, I will resign my position and stand trial. Until that time, though, Voyager's records will show that ensign Paris was killed in an attack by the Kazon. Captain Chakotay wished it wouldn't be like this, that I wouldn't settle this matter on the bridge or even anywhere else aboard Voyager, but it was Kathryn's last wish that the ensign would never leave Voyager alive."
Tuvok stepped away from Tom's lifeless body and called out to the computer.
"Computer, lock on to Ensign Paris' combadge and beam his remains into a position outside Voyager where it will drift towards this system's sun."

-End.